Write to keep your pet's memory alive.
Write to remember.
​Write to sort the thoughts floating around in your head.
Most of all, just write.


For inspiration, when you scroll to the bottom of this page, you will find several writing prompts that I have written. First, a few words from me on the writing process...

 
No experience necessary! This style of writing is designed to be messy, unfiltered, and unedited.  It can be as simple as jotting random notes in no particular order on a piece of scrap paper to as involved as writing a book (term used loosely). In between can lie standalone essays to capture moments in time, an obituary, a letter (or series of letters) to your pet, captions beside photos in a scrapbook. Whatever speaks to you. It is about the process, not the final product. What is important is that you are giving your heavy emotions a place to land outside of your head.

Start by grabbing a journal, notebook, or opening a Word document and writing about whatever comes to mind. Take it from me - I never thought it would be possible to forget any of Tovi's quirks, but I found memories faded with time, and details lost their clarity. I made the mistake of spending too much time pausing to polish my work, and the longer I waited to just get it all out, the harder it became to find the nuances in the memories. Your words are for YOU, so don't get stuck on formality. Write while the memories are fresh in your mind. If you want to turn it into something more formal, there is plenty of time to edit and expand later.

With that said, at first, you may only have the emotional capacity to jot down a few memories in short increments of time. When the memories feel too heavy, returning to your writing days or even weeks later is not only normal but can be necessary.

 Be compassionate with yourself during the writing process. There will likely be tears.

Also, know that what feels comfortable to you can shift at any time - our emotional strength to remember varies. Understand that you may not yet be in a place to write, and that’s okay. Perhaps your loss is too raw. By forcing yourself to remember — to go there — you risk re-traumatizing yourself. It's expected to feel sad while writing, but monitor the intensity and know when to take a break. Perhaps set a timer to check in with yourself at regular intervals. Keep a list of decompressing activities you can do when coming down from that hard emotional place. Things such as watching a light TV show, coloring, knitting, taking a walk, listening to podcasts/music, and movement... fill in your blank.
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Pro tip -  When writing in a journal, I have less of an urge (and ability) to edit every other sentence the way I am tempted to in a Word doc. I find uninterrupted writing to be more cathartic. But your attention span may be better than mine, so do what works for you. There is no one way to do anything.
 
 
Check out Writing About My Dead Dog Is Too Painful — Even So, I Keep Trying for additional writing safety.

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The Questions...

How did you acquire your pet?
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What was your “Gotcha Day” like?
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The Relationship - Was it love at first sight? Complicated? Challenging?  Did you experience any struggles in the beginning, or did your pet slide right into the fabric of your life?

What are some of your earliest memories of your pet?
 
What was going on in your life when your pet came into it?
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What life events did your pet witness? (marriage, divorce, kids, move, family death, etc). What memories does your pet hold?

Are there any people you would not have met but for your pet?

Have you and your pet traveled together? 

What is your best memory? What is your worst? 

What event(s) wouldn’t you have gotten through without your pet's support?

How did your relationship change over the years?

Do you have any regrets or wish for moments of “do-overs?” 

What emotion(s) did your pet evoke in you? 

What do you miss the most about your pet? 

How did losing your pet impact your life?

What lessons did your pet teach you?

Imagine what your pet would say to comfort you during your grief.

Write a letter to your pet updating them on your After.

If you had the opportunity, how did you say goodbye?

If the loss was sudden, tragic, or incomplete (lost animal), and you weren't able to say goodbye, how can you find peace with what happened (even if you don't like it)?

The Lighter Side
 
What were some of your pet’s unique quirks?
 
Did your pet have a nickname?
 
What was your pet's favorite toy?
 
Did your pet make any distinctive noises (snore, purr, whimper, talk in their sleep, etc)?
 
What was your favorite activity to do together?
 
Was your pet friends with any other animals? What were some of those relationships like?
 
What were some of your pet’s favorite foods?
 
Where was your pet's favorite place to sleep?
 
What were some of your pet’s special toys?

 
Have a prompt to add? Let me know.

If you would like to share your TAIL, I would be honored to read it.

 
PetTherapyNotes@gmail.com


**If writing isn't your thing (or if it is and you want more ideas), you will also find a Show Your Story page that features creative strategies for processing loss and memorializing your pet.